Choosing to Change!
Your heart races just at the thought, fear rises and your mind screams ‘No!’. You want to run. You want to be anywhere else of do anything else.
You lose your train of thought. Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth and your internal chatter is really ramping up. ‘What a foll!, How stupid, Who do you think your are, what do you think your’re doing, give up now before you really mess up….’
Have you ever experienced anything like this. This is me every time I approach a live video. Live audio I’m fine. Live video is a different matter.
The first step to change anything is awareness. Awareness that I’m doing this to myself, that there is no life threatening danger and the worst thing that can happen is that folks are disinterested.
The next step is to decide if I really want this to change and am I willing to face the fear or change my perception so there is no fear.
Choose to change!
Choose to be confident in the area where you have most fear.
Choose to take steps to change.
You can make changes with coaching, with help from modalities such as NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) or CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or hypnosis, or by making small changes that make a big difference every day.
The reality, for me at least hasn’t always been as easy as I had hoped. And I acknowledge that my biggest enemy is myself!
Self-confidence is contextual. You can be confident in one area of your life and not confident in another. You can be confident in one area of work and not another. You could be a great Team Manager yet terrified of giving presentations, a great one to one coach and hate working with groups.
Self-esteem is deeper and reaches to identity and who we think we are. Improving Self Esteem has a greater impact on your overall life experience. Being willing to go deeper, to begin liking yourself and who you are is a gift to others as well as you.
We all want our children to have high self-esteem, yet they are unlikely to do so if we don’t have it for ourselves.
I go deeper into this in my free e-book ‘7 Magical Steps to a Self-confident You’. You can access this by clicking on the link.
Lack of Confidence Can Really Stop You
As someone who lives and works alone myself, I understand how tough it can be to keep inspired, believe in yourself and commit to your business and your dream.
Life can often get in the way. I can get in the way…
Sometimes Monday comes around and I don’t want to move from my bed.
“If this resonates, remember there are steps you can take to change it for you.”
I sometimes justify my reluctance to begin my day, because no-one’s watching and after-all I’ve been through a lot in the past few years. And who cares?
It’s Easy For Me to Come Up With Reasons and Excuses.
And that won’t get me any closer to my dreams and away from where I am right now.
I have spent 6 months experimenting and working out what inspires me and calls me to get up and get positive. New habits, new kindnesses, new friends.
Everyome is different and some things will work for me and not someone else, so play and experiment if you feel you would like to start Monday jumping out of bed ready for your day.
Here are 3 really simple things that I do to improve my Self-confidence and Self-esteem:
1) List out my Achievements
About once a month I take the time to go through my life and list out the things I’ve achieved, the things I’ve done that I’m proud of, the things I’ve done I didn’t believe I could, the things I’ve done that meant something to me.
I find it takes a only a couple of weeks for me to forget some of the amazing things I’ve done. And they aren’t all huge. Just things that I am proud of.
Step 2 – Congratulate Myself throughout the Day
I have begun to acknowledge when I have completed something, especially if it is something I was reluctant to do.
I also listen to how I’m speaking to myself and when I begin to go into criticism and self-judgement I am learning to catch myself and recognise what I have achieved and acknowledge what I am learning if things haven’t worked out as I wanted. This really stops me spiralling into a self-loathing
I remind myself that I am my best friend, so how would I talk to my best friend during the day?
Step 3 – Simple Affirmations That I Believe as True
I don’t spend a lot of time repeating lots of affirmations that I know rub against my beliefs.
I choose one or two that work for me and I repeat them to myself during the day.
‘I get what I focus on’ s powerfully true for me and when I repeat this I check-in with what I’m thinking and whether I’m focused on the problem or the outcome I want. I find this one really helpful
Stay Focused and Positive Throughout the Day:
There are simple things you can do to keep yourself energised and inspired all day long.
a) Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated
b) If you begin to feel down, negative or in a slump get up and move. Dance to a high energy song. Sing along. Go for a walk or run. This changes your state, interrupts your negative thoughts and shifts your energy.
c) Focus on what you are achieving. Celebrate and give yourself rewards. Your unconscious mind will move more easily toward success if you train it with rewards.
d) Practice the thing you fear in a safe and supportive environment.
e) Enjoy! Have fun wherever possible. Joy and happiness is attractive. You are likely to find yourself attract new customers, support and friendships.
What do you do to stay confident and boost your self-esteem?
If you would like a copy of the e-book you can get access it here
If there is something specific I can help you with please get in touch. I would love to hear from you.
How Can I Help You?
If you can relate to this article and would like to have an informal chat, please get in touch. I would love to support you.