The Positivity Discussion

by | Feb 11, 2019

Does it annoy you? The reminders to focus on the positive, to be happy when you feel rubbish?

For me, it’s not about thinking positive thoughts while feeling lousy and hoping that will change things.

It’s about looking for a whole new perspective and feeling the possibility in it. It’s about recognising that aligning your emotions and attitude and even your physiology toward the probability of a good result shifts everything. It’s about taking on the belief that you get what you focus on.

This has had big results in my life in the past few years; Ones that changed moments of despair and anger into moments of magic and heartfelt love which I could never repeat this life time; Golden moments that occurred because I chose differently. I chose to see things differently, to open up to possibility, to compassion, to love.

‘Look for the Joy!’ they say.

This advice is hard to take when you are shoulder deep in a heart tearing event, shocked to the core by loss and despair. Give yourself time, and not too much time.

I find the faster I can shift my focus to an understanding that how I deal with and heal from the event by forward focus while being aware of the lesson and letting go of the anger, resentment, guilt… and all of that, the easier and faster a positive future will unfold.

Wallowing takes you out. You’re a gift to this planet and anything that takes you out robs the world of your energy, your ‘beingness’, the present moment you, and robs you of your aliveness and open heart.

Building barriers to an imaginary future hurt often invites more in.  In my experience.

The wrong Question?

There are times when I have asked myself ‘how much more of this can I take?’ and then realised that that’s the wrong question.

‘How can I grow from and through this? What is there to learn here in the darkness? What can I learn and how can I share this so others can avoid this path, or deal with it better than I did?’

My answers often surprise me. When I allow them to bubble up so I can see them rather than digging around and disturbing the mud, they are often the most unexpected, shiny surfaced mirrors, reflecting my stuff back at me and allowing me to see where I have been blind, the clarity shifting everything.

Losing My Boots

I recognise that I’ve had it backwards. In identifying and focusing on the problems I thought I’d find a solution, yet it’s in the letting go of the problem and the ‘how’ of it, and instead focusing on the outcome I want, the results I’d like to see and taking that first step toward them into the unknown, that often triggers a journey of unfolding, ease and positivity.

Yes I often get my boots stuck in the mud of ‘I can’t’, ‘it’s their fault’ and my ‘not enoughness’.

It’s about learning to get your feet dirty by stepping out of the boots so you can walk the through the mud to the dry land where the bluebells grow.

My experience and my learning.

And I’ve lost a lot of boots along the way.

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